I just finished my post and then it got deleted once I uploaded an image. Thanks a lot, Alfred.
To summarize, I explained how I'm a worrier and as a result I set impossibly high standards for myself that are doomed to fail. I finished by adding some manageable goals and accepting that life doesn't always work by a schedule. I had this whole metaphor about how taking baby steps would eventually turn the "o" in worrier into an "a". (yeah, cheese to the max, but it kind of worked!). I hit enter, feeling satisfied and inspired, then boom. Words erased into technological oblivion.
I started freaking out and having all of those other explosive responses one gets when documents are erased, but it also made me realize something important: I'm a hypocrite.
As frustrating as it is to re-write a condensed version of my original post, it challenged me to put my new intentions into immediate practice. What are these posts for, if not a place to reflect on my experiences/struggles as an artist (and overall human being)? My goals might seem pretty in writing but if they aren't being utilized then they're pretty well meaningless.
So, to conclude, I'll spare you the fluffy metaphor and add two neat things that I accomplished today:
1) I finished Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro. Admittedly, it took me a long time to get into it, but the ending was worth the wait. You know those pieces that hit you more after finishing them? If you're up for some emotionally draining (but beautifully written) material, this is your book.
2) I saw "Germinal" which is playing at the Harbourfront Centre until Saturday. Funny, witty, and colourfully imaginative, I definitely recommend checking it out: http://www.harbourfrontcentre.com/worldstage/germinal/?gclid=CO7l_Z3UvMoCFQEdaQodffACPA